Back when I was a yoof,
Playing club golf and trying to get my handicap down as far as possible to one day be good enough to embark on a professional career, I used to enter as many club competitions as possible.
Now one of my favourite tournaments that I played in all year was our clubs annual 36 hole scratch medal competition.
36 holes of pure scratch medal play, torture for some, pure heaven for others, but either way a very good test of where your game sits with much pro shop bounty up for grabs.
A good performance here and you need never pay to buy another golf ball, glove or club for a year, such were the size a scope of the vouchers on offer. It would send any golf mad youngster into a lather.
Onwards
One summer I was drawn with a fella who on the surface of it, seemed like he was a nice enough guy. He had a pleasant manner and was quite influential in the club. He sat on the committee and had more than enough to say for himself about how things should be run.
If you’re a member of a club at the moment, you probably know a bloke like this, every club has them.
Anyways, midway through the morning round I had my suspicions, on the last hole of the morning round my suspicions were confirmed.
He was a flat out cheat.
That’s right he was a master of the magic pencil, had a deft touch with the foot wedge and struggled to count correctly to seven.
Golfing scum.
Anyways, being a yoof I was unsure of what to do and as the third member of our group was a mate of el leather wedge, I couldn’t exactly say anything to him.
Not an easy position to be in.
So I let it slide, I had no other choice really and there was no way I could report him to the committee as it was a straight my word against his word, and he was a committee man.
What hurt some more is he posted a good score and was a couple shots off the lead (held by yours truly).
So this golfing story continues.
Deep into the back nine things have gotten tight and we’re neck and neck score wise. Magic marker carves his tee shot into the bundi on an easily reachable par 5, I’m centre cut looking pretty to get home in two.
We go and help magic marker look for his ball and there’s no sign, its calf length deep rough. With a minute to spare I find his ball, it’s dead, buried deep in the rough; it has to be a chop out onto the fairway.
I walk back to my bag to survey my shot and turn to see our man pulling the head cover off something; I was thinking he must be taking a drop.
But no.
He makes two practice swings and hits this fairway wood onto the fringe of the green.
I swear as god looks at me now typing this email, you would have done well to get lob wedge on that ball and move it 50 yards.
I hit the green with my second shot and to make things worse our cheating friend chips in for eagle three. I then three putt out of sheer madness and frustration.
I’m on the edge of just calling it quits and walking into the clubhouse, and then the golfing gods came to my rescue.
The next hole was a long par four with out of bounds down the entire right side of the hole, tough, tough hole. Our cheating friend, who had the honour to play, promptly decided to put five balls in a row out into the field.
Oh how I leapt for joy inside and couldn’t stop smiling the whole way back into the clubhouse. I never won that tournament; someone else pipped me, but man I was sure happy that cheating scumbag got what he deserved.
There’s really no need to cheat, not when you can learn to play the game well and hit good enough shots so you don’t have to cheat. That’s what our committee man should have done, but no, he had to resort to cheating to win.
Anyways, not sure what you will do with the above, there’s a few little pearls of wisdom contained within if you care to read carefully.
But onto more pressing matters.
Millions of average golfers around the world are being robbed of vital distance off the tee, and it’s having a severe effect on their ability to play the game well.
Here’s you you make sure your not one of them.
Bob James PGA
www.theeasypar.com